I’m going through a season. An excruciating and challenging yet growing season in my life both emotionally and physically.
While I have not asked for this season to be a part of my life, I know that I have no choice but to confront it. Because you can’t run away from life. By definition, life makes you embrace ALL the seasons of your life.
But I did not ask for this season. I did not want this season. I certainly did not want the pain that came with this nor did I want to be a source of pain. I wouldn’t wish this season on anyone.
However, I do know that with struggle, comes strength.
And strength has been my motto for each day that has come by. Compassion has been my motto for survival. Patience has been my motto for peace. Love has been my motto for understanding.
I write this in the hopes that for anyone who is going through a challenging season, you know that there are others going through their seasons with you. And with every challenging season, you can find moments of joy and growth.
The past 90 days of my season have channeled this struggle into the following thoughts/feelings/actions:
1. A new sense of gratefulness. I wake up each day grateful for those that are in, have been and will be in my life
2. Thankfulness for the health that I do have and each day of health that is still given. I say thanks to God for the health given to me, family and friends
3. A meditative mind. I’ve discovered the power of meditation and its ability to bring tranquility to thoughts
4. NEW Friends. I’ve found new friends and friendships with new people and new places I never knew
5. Stronger relationships. We’ve transformed existing friendships into stronger and more love-filled friendships than ever before
6. Re-kindled kindness. Re-discovered, unearthed and rekindled old friendships and found that our bonds can never be broken by time or distance. Whether we knew each other one year or 10 years ago, I’m thankful for you
7. Warmth & Love. Found myself enrobed in love from unexpected people. I am grateful for you and I hope I can bring as much love into your lives.
8. A voice Re-discovered. I can’t tell you HOW GOOD it feels to be writing again.
9. New BLOGS. I’ve started two blogs. This one and the 2nd is still under wraps for the most part. Call it my inner Ghostwriter.
10. Made the world feel like a smaller place with new friends & followers through this blog. Thanks to the readers from Spain, Canada, the Philippines, Taiwan and the UK. I am grateful for all of you who follow this blog and those who share their stories through their blogs as well.
11. Unearthed my inner spontaneity. With just a plane ticket, rental car and a place to stay, I never would have imagined that NOT HAVING a PLAN would feel so good. This might have been my favorite thing.
12. I’ve packed in over 25,000 miles of air travel across two continents, two oceanic bodies of water, three countries and 20+ cities. #KeepWandering
13. I’ve been challenged to the core between sanity and strength. Yet I STILL managed to put on my game face whether I was presenting in front of 200+ people, hosting 30+ people with toasts every night or leading a team to put on their best presentations ever. And even though there were days I didn’t want to, I showed up EVERYDAY (outside of travels) to be present. Rain, shine or my own inner hurricane, I’m STANDING and FACING the world. This sounds boastful but I HAVE to verbalize and be proud of this so that I may keep moving forward. I’ve kept my shit together even if I didn’t know whether I could.
14. I discovered a layer of me, on an island, in the pacific with new friends that I am grateful for in shaping the future of my life.
15. Witnessed the growth of my mentee and celebrated her successes.
16. CONQUERED two fears. And experienced the reward that came with stepping outside that comfort zone. #LikeABoss
17. Working on conquering my third fear (Karaoke!) and learning to embrace my singing lessons a more each time. #StillScared
18. Learned enough Italian to get myself in trouble (read = the ability to order a round of drinks for the table).
19. Discovered my inner Whiskey connoisseur. Discovering, dissecting and tasting it has even become more fun than wine. And I will ONLY take it NEAT (unless you give me a cold glass). #nowaterbackshere
20. Appreciative (and entertained by) the D-List/A-List Twitter celebrities that have started following me on twitter. Thanks y’all. I’m flattered. You’re still much too important to be following me.
21. Booked my next international destination – I’m FINALLY going to cross this one off my Travelist!
22. Uncovered the source of my insecurities – slogging through the work that needs to be done to see the light. #SUCKS
23. Got admitted to Passion Co – I can’t wait to get started. The possibilities are endless.
24. Sat (and am still sitting) in my faults. Taking responsibility for me. Embracing my flaws. It doesn’t always feel good but I know that I HAVE to do this. #REALLYSUCKS
I look back at this list that I have been blessed with in the past 90 days. There has been so much in the past 90 days for me to process right now. But I think a key accomplishment in the past 90 days is a renewed relationship I have with faith.
I have had to face unwanted and unimaginable pain. The words “one day at a time” have never carried so much weight. I’ve learned to seek a sense of hope and faith that I pray keeps watch over us. And I am so eternally grateful for the friends and family that continue to hold my hand and heart.
So if you’re struggling, please know that with great struggle = great growth. Life is not about suppressing the negative experiences, but life gives us opportunity to discover the positive experiences that come from them. I also want you to know (because I must believe this) that OTHERS cannot break you. Rationally this is easy to say. Emotionally, we must slog.
If this is you, I have hope that we can get through this together. I may not know you but I believe in you. And hopefully through these words I will stand by you and hold your hand every step of the way.
Excel & Obey.