Bonjour!

I’m about to embark on day four in Paris.

I’m currently sitting in my flat in Saint Germain (land of the literati) with a cup of coffee and getting ready to map out the day ahead. I’m going to head up past Montmarte today and hopefully catch a bit of quintessential Paris that was captured by painters and artists alike.

The past three days have been amazing. I LOVE traveling like a local. I love when I can live amongst the locals, eat where they eat and do what they do. Go to the boulangerie, buy fresh bread each day, sit at coffee shops and people watch. The meandering that the Parisians do so well is not hard to learn. They’ve got the art of “joie de vivre” down pat. I’ve very much enjoyed catching up with a friend in Paris, exploring my neighborhood and just seeing the sights. (I even got to see the end of Tour de France!)

In the meantime, I go though moments of feeling REALLY good and now and then I will have a moment where I am reminded of the pain. Well, to be clear, I’ve felt REALLY good the past few weeks and last night, in the middle of the night, I had a moment.

I reached out to a friend to keep me straight and hold me accountable to what I had declared a couple weeks earlier…”I’m good. There’s so much more to live for. This doesn’t define me and I deserve better.”

Despite being 12 hours apart in time, this friend reassured me that I am ok. I am doing better. I am better off. This friend also said “You’re pretty inspirational and positive person to people. Especially me.”

Another friend 9 hours away also said “You’re a whole different person, more yourself and free than I’ve ever known. Full of life and a million times better…Life will on get better and you are a better person for enduring it and rising above it.”

Thanks guys. I know this wasn’t my choice but I needed to hear that. I needed the reminder.

I’ve been asked, “do you feel lonely?”

I’ve had some time to think about that last night. And the answer is, no.

Because in spite of what’s happening, I’ve felt so surrounded and comforted and feel like I’ve gotten closer with so many of you. I feel like I’ve rediscovered a new community of friends and family and more than any other time, I feel so bonded to you all.

Now sometimes, I feel like what I’m going through is a lonely exercise, but I don’t feel lonely as a person. I have you all here with me in spirituality, in heart, in friendship and in love. Whether you are an Insta or a text away, you’ve all been so wonderful.

“It’s not where you are, it’s the company you keep” said someone wise.

So, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to all my family and friends back home, at work, abroad, in different states, in different countries. If I don’t tell you this enough, I am grateful for you. I am grateful for those of you who have joined me on this journey and have supported me. I am grateful for our friendship, love, encouragement, support and late night texts. I only hope I can be there for you as much as you’ve been there for me.

Thank you. I truly am thinking of all as I continue on this trip.

Love.